Battle of the Five Armies: Firebomber and Fleshmauler of Bolg

Listen up maggots, and listen good. You’d best learn the truth about the Battle of Five Armies if you think you’re ever to survive this war! In the old days, before the Eye came, the wretched worm Smaug was done to death by the coward Bard of Lake-town. Smaug’d been holed up in the dwarf-halls of the Lonely Mountain for ages and ages, sitting pretty in the dark and counting his coins. Those coins and jools rightfully belonged to the Goblins of Gundabad! Those cowardly snaga, Men and Elves and Dwarves, all set out to get their grubby little hands on the loot quick as you please when they heard of old Smaug’s death. But they had another thing coming, oh yes! Bolg of the North led a host of our fathers and fathers’ fathers, and a pack of wild wargs too, down from Mount Gundabad to learn them good and proper. We’d be rolling in riches today, if it hadn’t been for a flock of great filthy eagles. Wicked Men, cruel Elves, and nasty Dwarves can’t never be counted on to fight fair anyhow. They’re nowt but tricksters and cowards, you just see if I ain’t right. Garn!

This goblin is one of the warrior-thralls of Bold of Gundabad. A small but wicked creature, he is cunning and full of hate, and like all goblins loves clanking machines and loud explosions. He carries an iron shield embossed with a terrible grinning skull and inlaid with a beryl looted from a slain wood-elf. He uses his heavy iron-banded club more often to finish off an already crippled foe than to fight directly. His armour consists of a hauberk of dingy, rank, barely cured hide strips adorned with scraps of greasy, matted fur and sharp-edged bits of metal. Upon his back he carries a pack filled with bombs and rockets loaded with a peculiar black powder devised by the goblins. When fire is set to it, it explodes with great force and heat. It is a fearful weapon, but it can prove to be just as deadly to its wielder as it is to its targets!

Last week several readers suggested a goblin outfit to go along with the Elf, Man, and Dwarf outfits in the Battle of the Five Armies collection. Your wish is my command, dear readers, so I give you this tongue-in-cheek “fearsome” (some may say adorable) goblin-outfit. I think this would make a really cute Hallowe’en costume when this year’s Harvest festival rolls around. I’m definitely going to save it in case I get invited to any parties!

  • Head: Goblin Festival Mask (bartered — Harvestmath fall festival trader/cosmetic clothing), crimson
  • Shoulders: Ceremonial Shoulders of the Stone-student (bartered — skirmish camp cosmetics quartermaster/Moria cosmetic clothing – light), crimson
  • Back: Spark-maker’s Pack (bartered — anniversary event games-master/cosmetic rewards), black
  • Chest: Patched Hauberk (bartered — skirmish camp cosmetics quartermaster/cosmetic clothing), crimson
  • Hands: Ceremonial Ajokoira Gloves (crafted — tailor T5/Lossoth reputation), black
  • Feet: Ceremonial Boots of the Aurochs (bartered — skirmish camp cosmetics quartermaster/Helegrod cosmetic clothing – medium), crimson
  • Shield: Steel Round Shield (crafted — metalsmith T3; or looted — world drop/general

Tips: The shoulders used in this outfit have the same appearance as the ones from the other level 58 Mines of Moria instance cluster light armour sets. Shields with the same appearance as the one used in this outfit can be obtained from the light armour quartermaster in any skirmish camp.

But the goblins were the fourth of five armies that fought that day, so I also present two screenshots representing the fifth army: the Wargs of the North.

The skin that I have used on this warg is the “Brindled Warg Appearance” available from the Warg corruptions barterer for one Sigil of Dedication (the loyalty currency awarded to Creep players with this year’s anniversary event).

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8 Responses to Battle of the Five Armies: Firebomber and Fleshmauler of Bolg

  1. Omg this is sooo very good! And tongue-in-cheek as well, but jeeez. Great job!! Awesome.

  2. Fionnuala says:

    You did it! That is amazing. Nothing more to say. Just amazing.

  3. Laenlis says:

    LOVE it. Awesome.

  4. Freyjuska says:

    amazing outfit! I totally love it and would certainly be worried if I met such creature on the opposite side of the battlefield 🙂

  5. DarkJackal says:

    Bloody hell, you did it!! My warg Warat gives you two claws up!

  6. Hehehe, thanks so much everyone for the kind comments! Glad you liked and hope I was able to give you a bit of a chuckle today! 😀

  7. Baranwen says:

    Awesome! I’m a little scare by this blog right now lol
    Hilarious speech!

  8. Pingback: Dress It Up: Goblin-head | Landroval Style

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